Thursday, July 18, 2013

Cyber Bullying - Dog Breeding Edition

This morning I spent the better part of the day getting bullied on the internet. On facebook specifically.  This is not something I'm new to experiencing, actually, but this time I did not see it coming, AND it was very over-kill.
You can read the entire exchange here (has since been deleted) although I do NOT want anyone going on there and posting ANYTHING.  Even if you have something legitimate/not even rude to say, I'm sure it will start a flame-war.  The friends of that Cheryl person seem to have a lot of poison and they want to spit as much of it as possible at anyone who even slightly disagrees with them.  I only link it to get some feedback from people on the exchange, was I that wrong?  Did I really deserve all that abuse?

First off, I don't even know WHY that post showed up in my newsfeed.  Part of the problem was I posted my question thinking this was someone who I was friends with on facebook and they should know to expect that type of question from me.  Turns out, I don't know them, they don't know me.  So that's part of why SHE got so mad, and I can see that.  Well kind of, I wouldn't have gotten that mad, honestly.  I mean if you make your posts public you're kind of asking for it, right?
The other part of why she got so mad was because I worded my question badly and it pissed her off.  OK, that I fully understand.  And you will see I apologized for that toward the bottom.  I kind of just blurted out whatever I thought and didn't think through how it might come across.

A couple of things I don't understand, I was told to "do my research" and when I provided a link supporting my cause, I'm wrong and a horrible person because they just don't like the source I used.  The article I linked was from HSUS, and they even provide a link in their article where they got their information from.  Obviously they just decided I was wrong, and was going to be wrong no matter what research I've done, so why even tell me to do research?  Rather than explain why I was wrong, and provide PROOF that shows how wrong I am, I get called an "ass wipe".  Seriously?  A grown man called a woman an "ass wipe".   What gets me is, I wasn't even talking to those two assholes, so wtf is their deal?  Also, did I even say that "wow you're a horrible person for breeding dogs"?  No, no I did not. I might've implied that it's probably not the best idea, in the interests and well-being of dogs everywhere, but I didn't explicitly say, "wow you suck dog breeder".  Nor would I EVER say that, I like to think I'm a bit more mature than that.

So, here's another thing I don't understand about the whole exchange....
If someone posts something on your page, whatever site it might be on, facebook, a blog, whatever, and you don't like what they said, do you or do you not have the option to delete it?  Rather than, say, let her stupid friends call me names and treat me like total shit, rather than even SAY anything at all, why didn't she just delete what I said?  She could've deleted it and blocked me, and that would have been that, and I would've been spared all the abuse her stupid friends dished out, not even knowing one single thing about me.  I do that all the time!  Most of the time, it's not worth it to fight with people, and if I get THAT upset at what they said, I would delete it and block them.  In fact I delete things my close friends say on my facebook page all the time.  I love my friends, but they piss me off sometimes!  So I delete it and then if they don't say anything else about it, everything is fine.

In the end, I think there are several things to be learned from this:
1. If you are going to be hostile to random people coming in and commenting on your facebook posts, then make it friends only, public posts are at the mercy of everyone, and it's your fault that they have access to it, and if you don't like what they said, then deal with it.
2. Name-calling is a very immature thing to resort too, if you are over the age of 10, you should know better.
3. If someone isn't even talking TO you, then don't come in and throw in your two cents and your bullying, it does not help the situation, and it can make a perfectly calm situation volatile.
4. In any situation where you interact with people you don't know, prepare for some vicious bullying, even if the situation seems calm, and you aren't even saying anything that's all that bad. Some people are just LOOKING for a reason to get being an asshole out of their system, so you should never be surprised when you get called names and are told you're stupid.

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